The Lies that Save Us
by Renee02
Summary: Set at the end of New Moon, Bella must make a difficult choice. Should she agree to what Aro has asked of her and leave Edward forever or will she share her terrifying secret and put everyone she loves in jeopardy? AU EXB
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing.

So, this story starts off at the end of New Mood after Bella saves Edward. In my version, Aro decides he can't possibly let Bella leave with Edward. At least, not without promising him something.

I'm pretty excited about this story and I've got a lot of plans for where I want it to go. Hopefully you all enjoy it.

* * *

I could hardly breathe as the airplane made it's decent. My lungs were tight and I knew if I didn't consciously force it to, my heart would cease beating altogether. _How could I do this? It wasn't right. It wasn't fair._ I willed myself closer to Edward, if these were to be my last moments with him I would make them count. I took in the shape of his perfect chest as my head rested against it, the slow and steady rhythm of his breathing counting down the seconds till it would all be over.

Though exhaustion seeped through every bone and muscle in my fragile body, there was no question that I would not sleep this night. _Not this night._ I wouldn't waste the last hours that I had with him. I felt the plane settle into a cruising altitude and he lightly kissed the top of my forehead, breathing his heavenly scent onto my face. _How I had missed that_! My heart alternately soared then crashed, burned then froze with each of his touches. Half of my soul was praying that those touches meant more than he was saying and that he loved me. The other half was begging that he cared nothing at all for me and if that were true, this whole situation would be so much easier.

"It's over, Bella. You're safe and we're taking you home," his velvet voice could reach me anywhere, even when my mind was so closed off, dwelling on the horrible scene that was coming.

"No, not yet…I can't," I stuttered uselessly. He chuckled. Of course, he had no idea the desperation of my situation. He was just satisfied that I was alive. He could now assuage his guilt, knowing I had not died as a result of his actions. It was true that I hadn't meant to try and kill myself by jumping_. I mean, honestly, how could you kill something that wasn't alive anyway?_ Nevertheless, my false death had prompted him to end his own life in Volterra out of guilt. Or was it love? Did it matter?

I let him lead me to through security and eventually to a car waiting patiently by the exit. He helped me in and then I was immediately back in his arms again, his hand tenderly stroking my hair as if he had longed for me just as strongly as I had him. I was thankful that we had a driver and this particular ride would be at a normal, human pace. I wasn't ready for it to be over. The same scene that had so mercilessly plagued my thoughts on the plane trip reentered my mind with a renewed intensity.

…

We had been in Volterra, my trembling body held protectively in Edward's icy embrace. Jane's cruel gaze was focused upon me and I had just felt Edward tense, then relax slightly as everyone had realized that Jane's power had no effect on me. Aro's eyes had been lit with interest, obviously pondering my future as a vampire. Edward's eyes had narrowed; I still knew him well enough to know when thoughts were being blocked from him.

"Very well, you're all free to leave. This is quite obviously a misunderstanding. I trust that in the future, Edward, you won't be so quick to throw your life away," he flashed a smile towards the angel standing next to me.

Edward gritted his teeth and gazed regretfully at me as he responded, "You have no idea, Aro."

" Fine, fine. No harm done then. But, I must ask the two of you…that is, Edward and Alice, to join Marcus in the other room. We have some gifts we'd like to send back to Carlisle and there are some other matters to discuss." Edward visibly stiffened at my side, which I would have thought impossible from his previously rigid state. His eyes looked murderous and there was a deep growl coming from his chest.

"Now, Edward," Aro's smooth voice drifted over to us, "I've already said she would not be harmed. Don't test my patience, I've already given you more than you deserve after your…tantrum last night." Edward's indecisive eyes met mine, and I managed a small smile.

"Go," I said quietly, "I'll be fine." God, I wish I could take those words back because I was in no way _fine _at the moment. I wish he had stayed with me then, demanded that we be allowed to leave immediately. I wish he had done something, anything, other than follow Marcus into the next room, his sister following closely behind. I stared at his back as the door closed behind him, I was quite alone.

Immediately Aro sauntered up to me, grinning widely, exposing a brilliant set of sharp, white teeth.

"Don't worry, Love, he can't get in here either," he said rather jokingly as he pointed to his head, "I've been around long enough to know how to block my thoughts. Now, there are some things we need to discuss."

"Wh-What?" I stuttered. He ignored my speechlessness; it was obvious he was in a hurry.

"My dear, I've taken quite a special interest in you and I can't possibly let you leave here without some reassurance that you'll be back. However, I have quite the dilemma before me." He paused, looking me over, assuring himself that I was absorbing everything he said.

"You see, Carlisle is a very good friend of mine and I'd like to avoid hurting him and his coven if possible. If I try to keep you here now, your Edward will fight to the death against it. And believe me, Bella, he will die if he attempts such a thing. His sister will probably join him," he said all of this nonchalantly, as if he weren't breaking my heart with every word. His eyes stared coldly into mine and all I could do was tremble. _What could I possibly say to that?_

"What do I have to do?" I asked numbly. Nothing could be worse than the visions that were flashing across my mind; visions of Edwards face, lifeless, golden eyes staring blankly ahead. The only interruptions in the cascade of images were those of Alice, my best friend, lying motionless upon the ground.

"You will return with Edward to Washington. You will then tell him you don't want him, that you don't love him and that you never want to see him again. Do whatever it takes to convince him that you were happy before this little suicidal stint and you will be again after he leaves. It shouldn't be too difficult, given what he did to you last September. Tomorrow, Jane will come for you at your home. If Edward or any of the Cullens are there to defend you, they will be killed. Do you understand, Bella?" Tears were streaming down my face. What was not to understand? I had no choice.

…

It was strange to be in this position though. I have no idea why I'm so upset. Edward had made it perfectly clear when he left that he didn't want me…didn't love…

And anyway, this shouldn't be difficult for him. With any luck, he'd just drop me off at my house and take off again. It's not like I needed another speech like the last one. That's what my head said, but my heart, the traitorous thing that it is, begged for him to take me in his arms and kiss me as I had envisioned every day for the last 8 months.

I opened my eyes again, dragged from my horrible trance. The car had stopped and we were stopped in front of my house, Charlie's house. He helped me out of the car and I relished his skin on mine as he gripped my hand tightly, the coolness breaking through my feverish haze. He paid the driver and we were left alone in the driveway, staring at the intimidating walk to the front door.

"Will you take a walk with me?" He asked quietly, entwining his fingers in mine. _If only they could stay that way! _I nodded and shuffled next to him. This whole situation seemed so tragically familiar. _Hadn't he walked me along this route the last time I'd seen him? Hadn't he irreversibly devastated my entire life the last time I'd held his hand this way? Was I about to do the same to him?_

We slowly made our way to the trees and he turned his glorious body to face me, taking both my hands in his.

"Bella," he whispered softly, his honey eyes swimming with emotion. I couldn't speak. I should end it now, before he says anything, before it's too late to walk away. I should tell him I hate him, tell him to leave me forever. Yes, that's what I should do, but my heart had taken over and it had to hear what he felt. It had to know if I had been suffering alone the past 8 months.

"Bella," he repeated, shaking his head and refocusing his topaz eyes on mine, "I'm so sorry for what I've put you through, for everything that I've put you through. Everything I've done since the day I met you, I've done in hopes that you would be safe. Safe from me, safe from what I am. Yet, everything I do seems to just hurt you more."

"Edward, don't-" I breathed. _Stop him! _My head screamed. _Before it's too late!_

"Bella, I have to say this. Please, listen to me before you run into that house. I know I have no right to even speak to you right now, but I have to try." His right hand dropped mine and cradled my face, softly stroking it the way he used to.

"Please don't…I can't, Edward…" he looked pained at my obvious distress. My body was shaking with fear at what I had to do.

"The last time we were here, Bella, " he looked around, remembering that hated memory, "I lied to you. I told you I didn't want you and nothing," he gripped my hand tighter and his face hardened, "nothing could be further from the truth. I've done nothing but want you since the day I've met you and the last 8 months have been an unimaginable hell without you."

"Edward, I-" I stuttered, trembling violently.

"Bella," his lips were inches from mine, "I love you. I've always loved you and I will always love you. Nothing will every change that."

I attempted an answer but his lips were already on mine. But this was not his usual reserved and chaste kiss, but passionate and filled with an energy I'd never felt before. My lips responded automatically and my hands reached to tangle themselves in his silky chestnut hair. It was everything and nothing like I'd imagined or remembered. It was so much better than anything I'd ever experienced before. His arms were wrapped around me tightly, pulling me as close as possible without breaking my fragile human form. I felt his love in every movement, in the very air around us. I could never again doubt the way he felt for me and the last 8 months were instantly forgiven. Nothing was more important than this moment, except…

Gasping, I pulled away, trying painfully to erase the emotions that were surely running ramped across it. I knew he loved me and that had to be enough to get me through what was to come. Struggling, I looked up at him, meeting his anxious gaze. I had no idea what expression was on my face. I hoped it was blank. The hole in my heart was pouring acid on itself at my next words.

"Edward," I started, "You left me and I…I moved on." Each word came out stiff and unnatural and I almost gasped at the pain as each one stabbed deeply into my heart. _He won't accept that, Bella. You have to do better. _Is this what he had been feeling last time? The time that he'd done this to me? His icy arms were still encircling me and it was all too tempting to lean back in them and let him kiss me again. I leaned forward, raising my chin. _If you do this, that body that you find so much comfort in will be dead tomorrow. _Shocking myself back into reality with more images of a world without Edward, I leaned away.

"I'm with Jacob now, and we're," my voice hesitated, "we're happy." _Lies. All Lies._

"Bella," his hand was on my face again, forcing me to look into his perfect but fearful eyes, "You know what I need to hear. Say it and I will be out of your life forever." I swear my heart stopped, breathing was simply not an option. _It will be as if I never existed._ My world was at a stand still, and my voiced was barely above a whisper as I stared intently into his beautiful eyes.

"I don't want you, Edward. I need you to leave." The hardest part was out though I continued it over and over inside, repeatedly plunging the sharp dagger into my heart. I needed to finish this.

"Tell Alice not to look for me," I added quickly as he turned to leave, finally releasing the euphoric grip I had so willingly allowed a moment ago.

"And Edward," I said a little loudly, "You will do nothing to hurt yourself. Do you understand?" He turned to look at me painfully, I gasped as I realized I'd guessed his thoughts correctly. I ran to him, clutching at his shirt with both my hands.

"Edward Anthony Cullen. Promise me now that you will not do anything to harm yourself. Promise me that you will survive this. I couldn't bare this world without you." _Too far. Get a grip, Bella. You have to choose one route; don't play with him like this. _I quickly released his shirt and took a step back.

"I mean," I stuttered, taking in his confused expression, "you owe me that, Edward, after everything you've done. Don't you dare die because of me." He stared deeply into my eyes, probably with a million thoughts rushing through his head like always.

"I promise, Bella. I will stay in this life for you and I will love you every miserable day of it." And with that, he was gone, blurring into the darkening forest, out of my life forever.

* * *

R&R please! Next Chapter up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

I, of course, own nothing.

So, it's taken me about a year to update this story, mostly because I started it right before I left for school and just never got around to finishing it.  
But lately, it's been bugging me that I left it so incomplete, so you guys can expect much more regular updates. Hope you like it :)

* * *

I stared helplessly into the darkness, willing him to come back to me with everything I had. He wouldn't come back, I knew that was true. He would respect my wishes and stay away, taking any semblance of a life I had with him and leaving this empty shell behind. I sighed and walked slowly towards the back door, the hardest part was over. Every light in the house seemed to be on; the brightness was a sharp contrast to the moonless night. Reaching over the doorway, I found our hidden key. It was unnecessary, Charlie had left the door unlocked, probably too worried to notice it. _Oh god, Charlie…_

What was I going to tell him? This was going to break his heart. I had run out with Alice 2 days ago, shouting the promise of an explanation behind me. I thought I could come up with something for the past 2 days, but what about the rest of my life? Edward's words floated back to me. _You'll never see me again. _ Well, if both Edward and I would be gone from Charlie's life, it's only logical that he would think we were together. That's it, I suppose. It all came together too easily now. I'd leave Charlie a note, saying that I'd run off with Edward and we'd be out of contact for a while. Maybe I could write Charlie once I was in Volterra? I doubted it, but I grasped at the hope like a starving man for food.

Sighing, I tiptoed into the living room and passed Charlie, snoring on the couch. He was a wreck, deep purple circles lined his eyes and he was still wearing his uniform. _Who would take care of him when I left?_ Pulling a blanket over him, I softly kissed his cheek before making my way upstairs to pack.

What would I pack though? A toothbrush didn't seem to be necessary. I had never seen Edward use one. I'm sure they'll give me a dark, billowing cloak once I'm changed, so probably no need for clothes. I walked quietly around the room, finally deciding on a few pictures and trinkets that would remind of the people I was leaving behind. I had just finished writing Charlie's letter when I heard a knock on the window followed by the slight creaking as the pane moved upwards._ Jane_. I turned slowly, taking in one last breath of freedom.

"Jake!" I whispered, "What are you doing here?"

I hadn't counted on having to lie to Jacob. I suppose the same story that I left for Charlie would have to do.

"I've been running by your house every few hours to check if you'd made it back. I've been so worried, Bella," he pulled me into a hug as I climbed out on the roof to join him. "Where have you been?"

"Edward was in trouble," I said limply, "he needed me."

We were both silent for a moment. I stared at my feet as I wondered where to begin. He seemed to be dreading the question to which he already knew the answer.

I opened my mouth to speak but before I managed a syllable, his lips were on mine and the heat from his kiss took my breath away. It had never been like this with Edward. My lips had always molded to fit his and save tonight, there had always been hestitation, at least on _his _part. But Jacob was human, well, closer to being human, and on instinct, my hands reached up to entwine themselves in his shaggy black hair. He growled and pulled me closer, reveling in the moment I knew he'd been hoping for. I couldn't seem to push him away. I was clinging with a terrified grip onto anything or anyone I loved, but the ties would have to be cut and the time was falling away quickly. Sighing, I pulled my lips from his and looked into his deep brown eyes.

"I'm leaving with him, Jake. We belong together, him and I. And…and I'm going to be out of sight for a while…" His eyes registered shock before his sudden convulsions were vibrating the roof. Watching his features blur I saw an anger that I'd never seen in him before. Wrenching myself away from the heated embrace, I backed up to nearly the edge of the roof, begging him to calm down. Suddenly, it clicked. I had just meant to tell him that Edward and I were running away together. But he took it as we would be in hiding because I wouldn't be human anymore. To him, I wouldn't be Bella anymore. I'd be worse than dead.

"Please, Jake. Not here…" With an unsteady glance at the tree branch that loomed 5 feet away, I braced myself to jump. I was not going to let Jacob feel guilty for the rest of his life for clawing me to pieces. Muscles coiled, I pushed off the roof and flew for a mere moment before something hard and strong grabbed my waist and pulled me, perhaps a bit too roughly, back to the roof.

"Are you out of your mind? Are you seriously trying to kill yourself?" He shouted, anger lacing his words but not his features. He was back in control.

"What? No, I just didn't want to be on the roof when you…"

Growling in frustration, he turned on me, "Not that, Bella. I'm in control. I mean, becoming one of _them_," acid dripped from every word he spoke, "You'll be dead, you won't be human. You'll never see Charlie again, you'll never see…"

"you," I finished for him. Tears were sliding down both of our faces, "I'm so sorry Jake, I never meant to hurt you like this. I don't have a choice!"

"There's always a choice, Bella! Choose me!" We weren't shouting, but our low voices were straining with tension.

"I mean, I have to be with him. There's no other choice for me," I clarified, cringing inwardly at the lie. I'd never been good at lying, and now I'd managed two of the biggest lies I'd ever told within hours of each other.

I reached my arms around him and pulled myself close. He reluctantly squeezed me back, his sigh brought a small wave of heat in the chilly night.

"I'm going to miss you Bells."

"I know, Jacob. You'll always be my best friend, no matter how far away from each other or how much time goes by," I spoke, perhaps too quickly, only thinking to add on at the end, "You'll take care of Charlie, won't you?"

"Of course," He breathed, crushing me to his chest once more before whispering a husky goodbye and leaping from my roof. He changed halfway to the ground and a russet colored wolf bounded away, howling into the moonless night.

I stared after him for only a moment, tears streaking down my pale, human face. And I realized with a jolt, that this may be the last time I cry.

"How touching," a deadly silky voice called out behind me. Jane was here and my time was up.


	3. Chapter 3

yup, still don't own anything

* * *

The trip to Volterra had been so far uneventful. Jane kept glaring at me and it wasn't too hard to imagine her trying (in vain, thank goodness) to use her power on me.

"I'm his favorite, you know," she had said to me, her look of angry concentration never faltered. The tone of her voice left no question as to the 'he' to which she referred.

"That's really fine, Jane. The last thing I want right now is to be _his _favorite." I was surprised by the steadiness of my voice. I could already feel my mind returning to the comatose state it had been in last fall. What was there to live for now? Edward was gone and gone with him was my every reason to exist. I'd never see Charlie again, so it's not like I had to pretend to be a person anymore. And Jacob…well, Jacob probably hated me for what I was about to become. I'd spent much of the plane ride thinking over how drastically my life had changed in the past few days. Had it really only been 3 days since I had jumped from that cliff? Only 3 days since I had stood in my kitchen, considering the possibility of kissing Jacob Black and moving on from my life with Edward? Well, I suppose I had moved on, in a way.

"Well, just a warning then. There's a lot of competition amongst the guard. It wouldn't end well for you if you tried to cross me."

"No worries. Being top of the guard is somewhere on my list of things never to accomplish in my life…or rather, in my after-life."

Jane was looking slightly more at ease, though she still sat a little too rigid and her eyes were still a deep shade of scarlet. My eyes were going to be an even brighter shade for the first few months, but Edward had said they'd fade over time once I started feeding on animals. My heart accelerated. What if they didn't let me feed on animals? What if I woke up and they had a nice, tasty human sitting at my bedside? I had counted on having the Cullens to keep me in check my first few years. Could I possibly resist the smell of a human on my own? I guess I'd have to cross that bridge when I came to it.

Anyway, Jane was looking at me again.

"What?"

"I'm just trying to figure out his fascination with you," she said honestly, "I mean, no offence, but you're not exactly the most beautiful human I've ever seen. That 'not being able to read your mind' thing can only get you so far. And, as far as I can tell, you basically have no personality. All I've seen you do is cower and mope which is so not attractive."

I suddenly burst out laughing, "God Jane, I've been wondering the same thing ever since I've met him." It was almost refreshing to hear someone agree with me instead of insisting that I was really beautiful or that he really did love me. I almost smiled at her but, in my current state, I think it came out as more of a grimace.

"Are you kind of crazy?" she asked me, a bit bewildered.

"I think I'm getting there, Jane, I think I'm getting there."

* * *

"Well well, Bella, you're finally here. It's such a pleasure to see you again!" Aro spoke, his arms spread wide in welcome, as if he hadn't ripped my heart out and forced me back here against my will. I simply glared, a habit I may have picked up from Jane.

"Ah, still bitter, are we? Never fret, my dear, human memories are but shades compared with the brilliance of eternity. Your wounds will heal and this will become your home." I glanced around and the dimly lit chamber, its high intimidating arches did little to warm me up to the place.

"I see, not in the chatting mood? Well, down to business then." There was _more?_ What more could he take from me?

"Just so we're clear, once you're changed, you are forbidden to have contact with any of the Cullens. Should you ever meet them, for any reason, you are to maintain that it was your choice to come here and that it is your desire to remain here. There will be dire consequences for them and you if you do not heed me on this."

This did not surprise me. All his scheming would be pretty useless if I were to telephone Alice tomorrow. _Ugh…hey Alice, I'm out in Italy, any chance you could swing by and we could have a slumber party? _Not likely. It's not like Edward had left me with any means to get a hold of them anyway.

"I will allow you to hunt animals, if that still remains your preference when you wake, but I will not help you to do it. If you're having trouble maintaining your diet, deal with it on your own. And furthermore, you will have daily training sessions with Jane and Demitri," he nodded to the dark man who had suddenly appeared at my right, "to work on expanding your power, whatever it may be."

I focused my attention on the dark man now. He was shorter than Edward but had a fuller chest and a hard, thick jaw. His skin was darker, or I suppose would have been darker in life. The once olive complexion looked a little alarming without the color it once enjoyed. Naturally, he had the same sharp features and deep crimson eyes that everyone here had. Eyes that were gazing hungrily back at me, I realized with a jolt. Aro was still rattling on and I snapped my head forward.

"…and you'll be confined to the castle until I say otherwise. Do you understand?" I only nodded. I was still thinking about the terrifying look in Demitri's eyes.

"Wonderful. I shall see you in a few days then. Demitri, be careful. You can afford no accidents where this girl is concerned."

"What?" I gasped, "Now? Right now? With him?!"

My whole body went numb with shock. I hadn't felt anything in the last 24 hours, but now my body was alive and my mind was on full alert. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. _He _was supposed to be here, and _I _was supposed to have a choice! This could not be happening to me! My heart thudded away, as if knowing its beats were numbered. I heard my voice yelling, begging in hysterical tones, and each sob shook my chest painfully. I'd never been so aware of my body before. I could feel the heat from my racing heart pumping my muscles for action, even when my mind knew very well that there was no running from this. His cold hands were pulling me to him and he flashed a brilliant smile of beautifully sharp, white teeth.

"Please, wait," I begged, my eyes betraying every ounce of fear I felt.

"Too late, cher. Welcome to eternity." And with that I felt his fangs bite into the base of my neck.


End file.
